Tuesday 20 November 2007

Café lights

Lately, there are no words. If I had some I might lose myself in them, wander off into another state of mind. But I have none, and am stuck and sinking in a cold, barren place. Taking photos, such as these, which I like very much, helps a little. I was here. I looked around me and touched things with my mind, and my mind smiled. It still had no words. But the light, that strong light bursting through the high windows and the heavy glass doors! Willing it to stream into my mind and knock the stiff, cramped words from their perch in a dark corner.

I’ve been feeling a bit envious this morning. Not good!

A little concerned about a friend who’d been out of touch for a while, since she’s not been well in recent months, I emailed her: are you okay? It turns out that she’s engrossed in NaNoWriMo, which I’d told her about, and has written 40,000 words already! I’m so happy for her: she’s written a novel, but hadn’t been writing lately and was heard to murmur sadly that she didn’t know any more if she was a writer. So this is just fantastic.

Of course I enjoy inspiring and supporting others. But of course I aspire to more than that too. And since, while my friend has been writing her novel, I’ve heaved out on some days no more than a sentence or two, and on other days no words at all to go with a photo, and missed one day completely, thus failing already to blog every day in November - I also feel disappointed and, yes, just a little envious! Hmmph. We all know this can be either a source of bitterness or a spur to new energy.

From Whiskey River today:
There are always moments when one feels empty and estranged. Such moments are most desirable, for it means the soul has cast its moorings and is sailing for distant places. This is detachment - when the old is over and the new has not yet come. If you are afraid the state may be distressing, there is really nothing to be afraid of. Remember: What ever you come across - go beyond.
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj


Anonymous said...

Jean, you did write quite movingly here, along with the thoughful photos, so no need to feel bad. Some days, I have no words either but a photos can say it all. Sometimes it's a lifeline to keep connected, isn't it?

Lucy said...

No words eh? Wish I had no words like that...
I'm lifting that Whiskey River quote to send to a friend who just e-mailed who's in a difficult place.
And, of course, your photos are beautiful too.

Fire Bird said...

no words to describe
the light on a bald man's head
the high hanging lamps

herhimnbryn said...

But, your words here are wonderful:)

leslee said...

Yes, great observations - visually and of the state of feeling unmoored. I love the quote.

Zhoen said...

Sailing out, sailing back.

As a fellow faller-short, you have my commiserations, and fellowship. It's ok.

I haven't found words other days, either. But I keep thinking, jerking forward intermittently.

whiskey said...

Words perched in a dark corner, to my mind, goes beyond no words.

Very much so.

Beth said...

Jean, these photographs are very moving to me, and your few words feel like exactly the right, spare match with them.