Saturday, 11 October 2008
Tired bones and muscles crawl and cry beneath the skin like mewly babies seeking comfort, the comfort of mattress and motionless, swaddling and sleep. But after a long night's sleep more isn't feasible. The debt must be paid off in installments.
Not the best metaphor, as the alarmed tones of financial crisis hover round my dreams. Having managed to acquire very little in the way of money, stuff or sensations of security, never mind its reality, I've not much to lose, myself. And I grieved for the world already, don't know that I grieve more now. But fear is a wearing climate to live in.
Up then, warm the bones by moving, absorb the mind in rhythms of work. The next thing, and the next.
Prolonged overwork I find wretched and stupid. What's it for? (in light of the above, not even for money). Its saving grace is that after a while it's like running fast or standing for ages in a cold shower: it blasts away every other feeling, which when depressed has been your main feeling in recent months is kind of a blessing.
What happens, though, when you stop?
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It's a damn funny feeling, dreamy and vague. Stretch and wander, good soup and tea, nap and dither, read gently. Or that's what I have experienced, sounds much the same.
So hard. Some relief in moments of creativity, like your photos and writing, and in getting lost in others' creative works whether art, poetry, literature, music....
Here in Canada we are in the midst of an election, as well as following the long-drawn out US one, and now the economic disaster on top of it all, have kept me way too preoccupied with news media. Getting into the studio for a few hours a day is blessed relief away from the maddening world.
I wish you could find some time and energy to escape into enjoyment of your favourite arts. I enjoy your photos and reports here, Jean.
overwork is pointless isnt it? what are we here for? Surely not just to accumulate money. I suppose that at least that is one positive aspect to all the financial crises, more people will be asking themselves this question.
I agree with marja-leena there is relief in moments of creativity whether one's own or those of others...
Jean, you write so beautifully. Thank you.
Here is what I hope happens.We will have time to breathe, regroup and refocus and remember who we are separate and apart from what we do.
I am walking with you on this journey I expect
I hear you. I dreamed a window was smashed in my condo and I tried everything but couldn't patch it. Hard work, exhaustion, no money, not enough earnings to save, not enough energy after working to get credentialed for something better, no partner to float me should I need it... I hear you.
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