Lately, there are no words. If I had some I might lose myself in them, wander off into another state of mind. But I have none, and am stuck and sinking in a cold, barren place. Taking photos, such as these, which I like very much, helps a little. I was here. I looked around me and touched things with my mind, and my mind smiled. It still had no words. But the light, that strong light bursting through the high windows and the heavy glass doors! Willing it to stream into my mind and knock the stiff, cramped words from their perch in a dark corner.
I’ve been feeling a bit envious this morning. Not good!
A little concerned about a friend who’d been out of touch for a while, since she’s not been well in recent months, I emailed her: are you okay? It turns out that she’s engrossed in NaNoWriMo, which I’d told her about, and has written 40,000 words already! I’m so happy for her: she’s written a novel, but hadn’t been writing lately and was heard to murmur sadly that she didn’t know any more if she was a writer. So this is just fantastic.
Of course I enjoy inspiring and supporting others. But of course I aspire to more than that too. And since, while my friend has been writing her novel, I’ve heaved out on some days no more than a sentence or two, and on other days no words at all to go with a photo, and missed one day completely, thus failing already to blog every day in November - I also feel disappointed and, yes, just a little envious! Hmmph. We all know this can be either a source of bitterness or a spur to new energy.
From Whiskey River today:
There are always moments when one feels empty and estranged. Such moments are most desirable, for it means the soul has cast its moorings and is sailing for distant places. This is detachment - when the old is over and the new has not yet come. If you are afraid the state may be distressing, there is really nothing to be afraid of. Remember: What ever you come across - go beyond.
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj