Japanese paper from Shepherds was a treat to myself, a small investment in the future. It's for collecting and storing information and resources that may be of use after leaving the job in March.
There’s been so little mental or emotional space for hopes and dreams since making this momentous decision. My subconscious mind has ‘got’ it, clearly, for I wake in the middle of every night gripped by terror and unable to get back to sleep. But not my conscious mind, which remains too damned tired and full of the concerns of making it through each busy day. Slowly I’m trying to open a small bit of attention, to at least notice, grab and keep things that might be useful. It’s strange to be in a situation where everything will soon change, but nothing has yet changed at all.