Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Careful

We're having warm, golden Autumn weather, in odd contrast with the fires of mental hell. This is day eleven on the trot (gallop?) of too-long hours before the computer screen and, around the fierce heat of resistance to tedium and exhaustion, the edges are getting very blurred.  I'm a bit scared walking down the street: my grip on reality can waver at the best of times, and right now I don't entirely trust myself to tell a red light from a green.

Look, too much work is not as bad as many things - chronic physical pain, or catastrophic illness, or chemotherapy... of course it's not! But it's not good. You know that feeling that, if someone pokes you, you'll start making strange, uncontrollable noises? So you hold yourself carefully away from everyone, hold yourself very carefully together.

9 comments:

leslee said...

No, not good at all. Hoping you get a break from work soon. And do try to get small breaks in your day to recharge a little - for your sanity and also because it'll actually make the work a lot better, too.

Sandy Longhorn said...

Those last few sentences are perfect. Thanks for sharing, and I do hope you get a break soon.

Jean said...

Leslee, yes, absolutely, thanks. And I do.

Sandy, thank you.

Zhoen said...

Yes, I know. Imbalances in any area can leave the ground falling away.

Rouchswalwe said...

Wishing for your edges to be less blurred and your hours in front of the computer to be less long from day twelve.

marja-leena said...

Hope the load lightens very soon and you feel better in every way. Take care of yourself, please, Jean.

Rachel Fox said...

Would love to fix this for you somehow... Does it have to continue? Is there no route out?
x

canadianlit said...

Jean, a beautiful photo--and honest words. I admire that.

Jean said...

Kind words much appreciated :-)