Tuesday, 3 May 2011

Tempting fate

Swore I'd say nothing until I reached this milestone, would not tempt fate. It's taken six months - very slow, deliberately so, knowing where more drastic weight-loss diets often end. Still a long way to go to a healthy weight, perhaps another six months, but lighter now than I've been for much more than a decade. A startled, mostly pleasurable unfamiliarity I wake up to even on the worst of days. Not only pleasurable: all kinds of feelings smothered for so long in flesh, hunger before meals in a belly that's forgotten this sensation and confuses it with fear. It's why everything else has been harder in recent months. It may be wasted effort, destined only for rapid reversal (or maybe the experience of struggling with addiction is never wasted, even if it gets the better of you?). This, when the change becomes inwardly and outwardly apparent, is probably the time of highest risk. Tremulous and trivial and enormous, it's still tempting fate. Yikes, is that a rib? a muscle

15 comments:

Dale said...

Hooray! xoxo

Jean said...

Thanks, Dale - I know you know how amazing and how tenuous this is!

Sandra Davies said...

Well done. Slowly does it and good to know you're enjoying the sensation.

Jean said...

Thanks Sandra. And thanks for visiting my blogs and leading me to yours and to your writing and art work.

marja-leena said...

Well done! Hang in there and enjoy the new sensations.

liliannattel said...

Congratulations! I'm rooting for you.

Fire Bird said...

(o)

Ivy said...

Well done, dear Jean, well done! x

litlove said...

Good for you, Jean! Managing weight is SO hard to do. Give yourself a huge pat on the back.

Jean said...

Thanks, everyone!

Natalie d'Arbeloff said...

Bravo brava! Enjoy congratulating yourself, that's part of the reward. You must tell me the plan you followed, I could do with it too. See you soon.

Jean said...

See you very soon Natalie - looking forward to it!

Vivien said...

Well done with the slimming! - as I know, it's a long, long arduous road. Losing a stone and a half gradually about ten years ago, I found it was good to be optimistic, e.g. "Monday: 10 stone 9 lbs, Tuesday: 10 stone 8 and three quarter lbs..." (this was squinting hard at the scales).
I've decided to give up slimming now and definitely stick to c. 9st 5 - a bit podgy, but I think I need a bit of ballast to feel secure! It's horrible feeling fat, especially in summer. It makes such a difference to ones morale to feel not too overweight. Best wishes for the rest of the slimming!

Jean said...

Thanks Vivien. I don't think I will ever again weigh as little as you do, and that's probably fine - natural for most of our bodies to be a little heavier with age (though very thin people often get thinner, I think - depends on your metabolism). I'm aiming for a healthy weight, the size I was at 40, not at 20.

Beth said...

You are so sly (and smart) not to have said anything, but bravo, bravo for you, Jean! Losing slowly worked for a friend of mine here and she has kept it off. I wish you the very best, and an occasional celebration too!